1. |
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Here I come with tales to tell,
Far too many tragedies.
I know these days all too well,
Some very heavy shit indeed.
Lately I have been compelled
To find the fear in everything.
There’s nothing I can do to quell
My never ending stream of grief.
Champagne and childhood hunger
Never fail to put a dent in the armor.
Benzodiazepines and cheap liquor
Never fail to make me sleep.
Here is where I found my wealth,
A house of ill to some degree.
But it is risen from myself,
and not the fear of being lonely.
I’ve heard that you’re not feeling well
That’s what my friends have passed to me
And I can’t say I didn’t hope for Hell
To sail its shit unto your sea.
Champagne and childhood hunger
Never fail to sink me down even further.
Strange men bearing loose white powder
Never seem to set me free.
We never found a way out.
We thought we had so much time.
But now the days have sifted down.
Only one of us is still alive.
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2. |
The Saturnine Song
03:48
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If you ever think of me,
And I know that you don’t,
I hope you think of how you left
When I needed you most.
I said, “I never will get over this.”
And as sure as I’m standing here I never did.
I’ve reached down many avenues of contempt,
And I’ve been so saturnine since you left.
I hope that you cannot sleep,
For when you climb in bed
You are consumed by the guilt
Of leaving me for dead.
Your cowardice shot poison in my heart,
And now this poison is mine to impart.
I’ve reached down many avenues of contempt,
And I’ve been so saturnine since you left.
You burned the wheel and can’t call back
The tears that I have shed.
Fingers crossed this is all a dream
And I’m already dead.
I’m blinded by the vacancy
Within the path I tread.
Fingers crossed this is all a dream
And I’m already dead.
I’ll never know the love that I deserve.
I’m too fucked up now, of that I am sure.
I’m furious, sardonic, and bereft,
And I’ve been so saturnine since you left.
But if one can’t be happy,
One must be amused.
We will never escape
A life of perpetual doom.
If one can’t be happy,
One must be amused.
Like roses in the desert
We live in perpetual doom,
We live in perpetual doom,
We live in perpetual doom,
We live in perpetual doom,
We live in perpetual doom.
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3. |
It's Not For Me Anymore
04:38
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When I was seventeen,
Hiding with him in a parked car,
We were charting out new lands
Never seen in our hearts.
Once a man was in love with me
And then another and another.
But that was years ago
And now I’ve been here alone forever.
What’s been has been
And it’s gone for sure.
I used to know love,
But it’s not for me anymore.
In my life I’ve seen some things
That most men can’t speak about.
I’ve watched my best friend die
And fires that burned my house down.
Once I went to therapy
And then a doctor and a lawyer.
They weren’t the only ones who raped me,
Too many now to even bother.
What’s been has been
And it’s gone for sure.
I used to know love,
But it’s not for me anymore.
In time you too will see
That we are all destined to fail.
If you think you’re truly happy,
Just give it time, that ship too will sail.
Once I thought life was worth living,
But now I’m sure that I know better.
You can’t travel this road alone,
You can’t get on without a partner.
What’s been has been
And it’s gone for sure.
I used to know love,
But it’s not for me anymore.
Once I was bound to my feeling
And all the memories I’d gathered.
But that was years ago
And I’ve left them out on the road in tatters.
What’s been has been
And it’s gone for sure.
I used to know life,
But it’s not for me anymore,
Anymore, anymore, anymore.
What’s been has been.
No one’s at my door.
I used to know life,
But it’s not for me anymore.
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4. |
26 Years
04:33
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26 Years pinned down in the dumps,
And today I’m finally free of his thumb.
His car slithered off the motorway,
I’ve never been happier than I am today.
We’d been running and churning around in this rut.
Now I can dream of all the new men I’ll fuck.
I can be lethargic and lonely,
And no one will be there to stop me.
(That motherfucker’s dead)
I’ll be shooting up strangers and holding their hands.
I’ll drink cold wine in lofts with the tallest men.
After all these years he’s finally gone.
Praise be to God for taking the right one.
(That motherfucker’s dead)
Every day I’d think of him and cringe.
He made me feel like I was so worthless.
Now I can go to sleep on unknown beds
And not look to the roads that lay ahead.
I’m gonna leave this room and greet the day.
I’m gonna stroll down streets and smile and wave.
I won’t ever have to face him again.
I won’t even have to see his friends.
His death has given my life new meaning.
I can’t wait to see what the future holds for me.
Oh my god, what is this that I see?
There was no accident, he’s standing right in front of me.
It wasn’t his car that fell in the lake.
The police made a terrible mistake.
My chest is tightening with disbelief.
My heart has stopped, the shock has murdered me.
At least now I have finally escaped,
But this wasn’t exactly the right way.
So my friends, this is the end of me.
This is some cruel fucking irony.
He’d always been the winner in this game.
I guess that is never going to change.
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5. |
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I really didn’t think you loved me.
I really believed you were using me.
Like one day you wouldn’t even think twice to leave.
Like I wasn’t someone but something.
But you look at me like you’re mine,
Like we have truly turned back time,
Like you’ve been here all along,
Like I finally heard that song
For the first time.
And now I see
It wasn’t you,
It wasn’t me,
It’s just that we
Weren’t listening.
I wanna cry.
Because I was blind,
And you were right,
It’s no small crime.
With you there’s no difference between
The floor and the highest ceiling.
With you it’s not all or nothing,
It’s everything or anything.
But now there’s nothing I can do
But drink beer from a champagne flute,
And champagne from a beer can.
I wish that you would understand
I need you back.
And now I see
It wasn’t true.
It wasn’t me
That needed moons
Or onyx rings.
I wanna cry
Because I was blind,
And you were right,
It’s no small crime.
And now I see
It wasn’t doomed.
It wasn’t me
That needed you
For anything.
I’m right on time.
Now it’s everything or anything,
It’s everything or anything you had in mind.
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6. |
Not A Hole
04:34
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Joey my love, come back to the harbor.
Joey my love, come back to the sea.
Joey my love, get away from that river.
Joey my love, please leave him for me.
Joey my love, this isn’t meant
To be of offense or any outing.
I just feel it’s right for me to tell you,
Joey my love, I’m still wearing your ring.
Joey my love, why are you leaving
All of our babies unborn and unbred?
Joey my love, why are you teasing
Me when you know we should be in bed?
Joey my love, I sent you some flowers.
You didn’t reply and I got angry.
Then I realized he might be home with you.
Joey my love, tell me did he see?
Joey my love, why are you doing
All of these things you’re doing to me?
Joey my love, please rid yourself of him.
Leave him alone, let him rest in peace.
Joey my love, why are you calling?
It’s a quarter past noon and you must be drunk.
I think we share a similar botheration,
Joey my love, well maybe we don’t.
Joey my love, you came to the doctor.
You told him both of us were clean.
Joey my love, it couldn’t be further
From the truth, have you even met me?
Joey my love, I need you to hold it
While I am sitting it inside of me.
You know it just isn’t the same,
Joey my love, without your mouth on me.
Joey my love, I put it deep in me,
Just like you said to do on that day
When you picked it up for me at the drugstore.
Joey, my love grows rapacious and stale.
Joey my love, please spread yourself open.
I’m begging you Darlin’ to take it from me.
You’re wetting my heart with these moments you’ve stolen
Joey my love, your pussy is sweet.
Joey my love, you’re leaving together.
Joey my love, he looks just like me.
I know that I am boundlessly better
For you ‘cause we’ve both lived on the streets.
Joey, I know you’re a little bit older.
Joey, I know you’re dealing with things.
Joey, I know that I’m not your father.
Joey, just pour down another drink.
Joey my love, have you arrested
Anyone since you arrested me?
I know that I’m forever your captive.
Joey my love, I’ll never be free!
Joey my love, my heart isn’t broken,
Though you see it as niggardly and cold.
You see that part that appears to be missing?
Joey my love, that’s a space not a hole.
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7. |
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If I gathered bloodless leaves,
Would you hold them all for me.
If I kicked the barn door down,
Would I find your hands on the ground?
These days I can barely speak.
There are places the razor can’t reach.
If I lie and wait for you,
Will I see the dark burn blue?
Will ivy slip through my skeleton?
Where have you been,
Where have you been?
If I had the strength to roam,
Would I walk the path alone?
If I ripped the curtains down,
Would I find your face in the crowd?
Will I shoulder all the blame
For the absence of roses on your grave?
If I lie and say I’m fine,
Will you see what I’ve been trying to hide?
Will churches rise on my skeleton?
Where have you been,
Where have you been?
If I knew the words to say,
Could I wish this all away?
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8. |
Whaling Wall
04:31
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We went down to the whaling wall,
We were not in love.
Our fates were solidifying,
Unbeknownst to us.
November breezes through our hair.
Our hands sheltered by gloves.
The mist cut through our sense of fear,
Spilling out watercolor lust.
Our eyes were shielded from the sun
By the same dark panes of glass.
I knelt before my own desire,
I prayed for this to last.
The afternoon light filtered
Through our insecurities.
I was too afraid to say,
You might be the one for me.
The blackest hair I’d ever seen,
The most beautiful mouth.
Every soft boy’s childhood dream.
Right there in my arms.
A lost weekend has never been
As close to God as this.
I wanted to feel everything,
An ill begotten wish.
He said, “Here it’s hard to fall.”
I said, “I can’t trust
In anything to anyone
Who cannot call my bluff.”
Manhattans ran through our blood,
There was no smoke in sight.
I told him of the one I’d lost
And he began to cry.
He looked into my sinking heart
And held his breath lightly.
He knew that we could never be
More than this one evening.
Love is fickle like the tide,
Always changing pace.
You can’t rely on anything
That shapes itself in haste.
So burn the mast and chop the planks.
Drown the sorry thing.
Watch it saunter down the waves
To its rightful ending.
Someday soon I will return
To the land from whence I came
And the whales will still be on that wall.
Nothing is ever gonna change.
We went down to the whaling wall,
Where lovers drift apart.
Don’t listen when the sirens call.
It could break your precious heart.
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9. |
Ghosts
04:06
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Let me pour you a drink,
Come by the fire side.
Let’s have one more laugh before you die.
Remember when we drove all night,
To find the Northern Star?
I wonder now, If that is where you are.
Say you love me still,
Say it’s not the end.
Just let me know if I’ll see you again.
I’m sitting here alone,
Praying to see a spark.
But all I see is snow out in the yard.
I never believed in ghosts,
But I wish that I did,
‘Cause living without you’s no way to live.
Show me that I’m wrong.
I don’t care how or when.
Just let me know if I’ll see you again.
But I could pour a thousand drinks,
Or walk to Birmingham.
There’s nothing I can do to bring you back.
The lights are dimming now,
You’re waiting underground,
And I’ve been up here wading through the past.
For years I have been holding so much back.
But now the time has come to face the fact.
Now I know you’re locked within the firmament,
And I will never see you again.
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10. |
Annus Horribilis
03:31
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I have never felt so alone,
Everyone I’ve ever loved has gone.
Everything has been just the same,
Ever since he took his love away.
Don’t trust him when he says,
Love is kind and love is patient.
He’ll leave you when he gets bored.
Every man’s a carnivore.
I been howling at the moon
Ever since he left me here.
In a life marred by stagnation
It’s been another horrible year.
This shit has cut me down to the bone,
I’m welded to an imbecilic throne.
There really isn’t much left to say,
Just wasted breath in these hideous days.
Don’t trust them when they say,
Everything will be okay.
Love is blunt and love is poor.
Love is mythical for sure.
I been howling at the moon,
How the fuck did I get here?
In a life void of compassion
It’s been another horrible year.
I just keep howling at the moon.
A desultory balladeer.
I’ve had one too many now,
There goes another horrible year.
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Eric Terino
Tapping into the rich timeless history of romance and poetics past, Eric Terino’s musical landscape paints a portrait of an American artist with a sweeping perspective on what it means to be human. The deeply personal becomes universal and heartbreak can be transformed to healing. This potential for alchemy exists everywhere, and his serenaded solitude reminds us of the infinite beauty in it all. ... more
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